


We should just kiss like real people do

by oceantears



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Relationship, Boys Kissing, Fluff, Insecure Crowley (Good Omens), Insecurity, Internalized Acephobia, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 04:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceantears/pseuds/oceantears
Summary: Crowley wakes up alone.





	We should just kiss like real people do

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> The title is from Hozier's "Like real people do". Nearly all of my GO fics have Hozier's lyrics as titles because he and his songs are absolutely amazing and so many of his lyrics fit Aziraphale and Crowley perfectly. :)
> 
> English is not my first language, please tell me where I made mistakes!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this mess of feelings. :)

The sunlight hit Crowley's eyes and he groaned.  
His fingers scrambled for the spare blanket he'd given to Aziraphale yesterday to cover his eyes, but his fingers came up short.  
He could feel neither a second blanket nor a second person. Crowley opened his eyes and blinked blearily at the sun, his mind only now catching up.

His bed was empty.

There was no second blanket, no second pillow and, most importantly, no second immortal being.  
No Aziraphale. 

For a second Crowley thought, hoped, that Aziraphale simply was in the kitchen, preparing some food, or in the living room reading, but deep down, Crowley knew that it wasn't true.  
If it had been, he would have been able to feel the angel's presence, but he wasn't and Crowley knew that Aziraphale wasn't here, knew that the angel had left his flat before the demon had woken up. Without so much as a goodbye.

Crowley's hands began to shake.  
Of course, of course not. Why would the angel have stayed with him, anyways? It wasn't as if the night had been worth it.

As far as Crowley could remember, he and Aziraphale had met at the Ritz and enjoyed a magnificent dinner together. The evening had ended with the both of them going to Crowley's place where they'd drunken some more wine, talking and joking.  
And just as Aziraphale had wanted to leave, Crowley had kissed him. On the mouth.  
Just to draw back quite quickly again, ready to apologize and hide for the next 6,000 years or so.  
Only that he hadn't had the chance to do so, as Aziraphale had smiled, brightly, and had bent forward to kiss Crowley himself.

It had been glorious - they had spent the evening kissing and cuddling, and Crowley had managed to convince the angel to stay the night. They had both fallen into Crowley's bed, kissing some more before turning the lights off and falling asleep, happily, as Crowley had thought.

Only apparently, Aziraphale had not seen it that way.  
Why else would he have left?

Crowley should not have asked himself that question, since his mind took it as an inivitation to dump millenia worth of worries onto him.  
Obviously Aziraphale hadn't stayed. Why would he have? It was only _Crowley_ after all. Only Crowley, who was left alone in his bed, hating himself and being oh-so-close to crying.  
Crowley, who hadn't even been able to make Aziraphale's stay worthwhile because _nothing had happened_. Nothing save for few kisses and hugs so chaste that a nun would have laughed at them. 

Yesterday that had seemed perfect, but now, in the morning's harsh light, Crowley berated himself for ever thinking that it'd be enough. For Crowely himself - yes, of course, but for Aziraphale? No.  
The angel presumably had _needs_ , just like humans did and Crowley knew that angels were much more similiar to humans than demons were.  
No wonder Aziraphale had left without a word then, when Crowley had had nothing to give to him.  
The angel was probably in his bookshop right now, regretting ever having kissed a demon.

Crowley buried his head in his pillow and tried his best not to cry.  
He did not succeed.

\---

Two days later, someome knocked on Crowley's door.  
The demon had not left his flat for those two days out of fear of meeting Aziraphale, but of course that hadn't been a long-term solution, as the knocking proved.  
Before opening the door, Crowley quickly miracled himself to look at least somewhat presentable - he had pride, after all, and he'd be blessed before he let Aziraphale know just how terrible the past two days had been for him.

As Crowley opened the door, he found one very sorry-looking angel standing in the hallway, toying with his tie.  
Aziraphale cleared his throat as Crowley looked at him, eyebrows raised.

"I came to apologise, dear."  
For a second, Aziraphale looked away, clearly embarrassed, thus missing the look of surprise that flew over Crowley's face.

"It was terribly rude of me to leave without saying goodbye at least, and I should have come here sooner. But I was a bit... worried, I'd say. Anxious, really, of what it'd be like if we woke up together."  
Aziraphale took a deep breath before continuing. "I was worried that you'd be disappointed or angry even and I didn't want to have to see you be angry with me, so I left. And that wasn't right and I'm sorry."

For a few seconds, Crowley could do nothing but stare at his friend.

"You were... But I was- But we didn't... What?"

Aziraphale gave a slightly nervous smile at the demon's stuttering.  
"Exactly - 'But we didn't'. You uh, or I rather, I kissed you and well, we kissed for a long time without it ever turning into... something else. I was perfectly content with that, but after you'd gone to sleep, I realised that you might not be. I realised that I'd been, well, leading you on? And I came to the conclusion that you probably expected more from the night than what happened. And as I said, because we didn't sleep with each other or did _anything_ , really, I left. And I'm sorry for that."

For a few moments, Crowley could do nothing but gape at Aziraphale.

"You thought that _I_ was expecting more? Me? Angel, when have you ever seen or heard me express any desire in sex?"

The angel spluttered.  
"Well, never, but that doesn't mean-! I was under the impression that demons were just like humans in that regard, I thought that it was in the job description, with Lust being one of the seven sins!"

Crowley groaned. 

"Well, you're wrong. And since this is not a conversation I want to continue having in my hallway, would you please come in?"

He stepped aside and followed Aziraphale, who led the way to Crowley's living room. After they'd both sat down on the couch, Crowley started speaking again.

"So if I understood correctly, angel, we both panicked because we thought that the other was disappointed with how the night went, while neither of us actually _wanted_ the night to go any other way?"

At those words, Aziraphale looked at Crowley with such an astonished look on his face that the demon wondered if he'd grown a second head. 

"Wait, dear, you didn't want more, uh, physical closeness, either?"

Crowley rolled his eyes.  
"You can say sex, angel, it's fine. And no, I didn't. I know that I should, with me being a demon as you pointed out earlier but I guess I am not as demonic as the other, well, demons. I've always been a failure in this regard - never seduced anyone, neither human nor demon and I've never been seduced either. It just doesn't interest me."

Aziraphale had a faintly upset look on his face and Crowley had a second to worry what exactly he had said that had upset his friend that much, before the angel began talking again.

"You're not a failure, Crowley, not in any way. Not wanting to sleep with anyone doesn't make you a worse person or a worse demon. Just because it's unusual doesn't mean it's bad, you know?"

Crowley smiled at those words. Sometimes, he really was eternally grateful to have a friends such as Aziraphale, who managed to see the good in everyone - even in him.

He squeezed the angels' hand softly.

"So that means that we can continue doing what we were doing?" he asked. "Just kissing, without any of the other stuff?"

Aziraphale nodded with a smile that seemed to brighten his whole face.

"That's exactly what it means, dear."


End file.
